Maybe Falling Isn’t So Bad After All…

Jared is out getting a new dishwasher. Ours has been temperamental since we moved in and officially not working at all for over a year. But he’s had to help with the dishes so often in the past two months that I think he’s finally gotten over it…

At least there’s some silver lining in the midst of this little thing they call hyperemesis.

Its taken me a while to see it in the midst of the symptoms. I won’t go through the detail here (its vulgar) but I will say that I’ve thrown up in public so much by now that I’ve pretty much stopped going out. I cried with embarrassment the first time it happened in front of the hospital on our way to take Max in during the 8:30am rush. Heaps of people walked by as I stood over a rubbish bin filled with cigarette stubs and half chewed fast food before I was ushered away by three nurses who came rushing out of their office with tissues, bottled water, vomit bags, and a wheelchair in tow.

Jared and random nurses at the hospital haven’t been the only ones to catch me lately…

My 39-week pregnant friend (who is now a mama herself) who drove me to doctors appointments when I couldn’t take myself…

My busy mom-of-four-friend who took the time to juice veggies for me and puree pumpkin soup just to get nutrition in me when I couldn’t even keep water down…

Friends who popped by to entertain my son when I couldn’t pull myself away from the toilet and he couldn’t help but cry wondering what was wrong with mommy…

Friends who brought popsicles and smut, friends who offered to cook for my boys, friends who brought grits (because when that particular friend came off his former cocaine addiction, grits were the only thing that felt good on his stomach… man, I love that friend.)

I’ve always been so happy to be independent… to be the one offering the help… and even though I’ve done my fair share of receiving in life (hello, I’m not that naive, there have been SO many people to help me in SO many ways), it has never been to this degree with the most basic and practical things like feeding my family or changing my son’s nappy.

It was somewhere in the midst of all this, as I saw how gracious and loving and helpful and kind all my friends have been as they caught me, I realised… maybe falling isn’t so bad after all.

Last week as I sat in our weekly worship service, peaceful as a friend prayed for me, I heard the words of Jesus whispering to my heart. “Rebekah, you’ve been so eager to get out of this season of your life, but have you stopped to consider what I’ve done during it?

So. True.

A deeper gratitude… a deeper humility… a deeper understanding of friendship… a deeper intimacy with Christ… fallling in love with my husband all over again as I realised the depth with which he meant the words “in sickness…,” the joy of watching my friends succeed at things I was not strong enough to do… the preparation for life to change yet again as another little one joins us…

And while I still want out (always the optimist, now that I’ve passed 14 weeks, my next goal to be finished throwing up is 16 weeks, thanks to the advice from my friend Aimee’s mother-in-law, a nurse who suffered from hyperemesis herself), I am enjoying the moment, feeling free to fall, feeling grateful for those who catch me… and stoked to have a new dishwasher by the end of today!

Can you believe our sweet boy is 18 months old already!? GAH!


7 thoughts on “Maybe Falling Isn’t So Bad After All…

  1. Pingback: Post-Surgery Pathology Report | Life to the Max

  2. Bek, what’s smut? Lol And I feel a bit overshadowed by the friend who made you grits! 😉 Love you and hope each day is better. I’ll get the recipe for the one food my mother-in-law said she could keep down. I think it’s for cookies, believe it or not 🙂
    And, Bekah, people catch you because they know you’d do the same for them.
    Keep writing so all us Yanks who don’t know what smut is will know the latest news with you and your boys.
    (P.S congrats on the new dishwasher! Now if only it would put away dishes!)

    • Cookies!? Great! 🙂 This weekend for me its fried rice. So random.

      I learned smut from my sisters… I thought it referred to pop culture magazines with a bit too much celebrity gossip. I just looked up the urban dictionary definition and I am a bit embarrassed to post what it says! 🙂 Let the record state that in this instance, I was referring to a WHO Magazine! 🙂

      • I just had to google WHO magazine. Hahaha. I think your sisters are using a different urban dictionary. Clearly it’s been cleansed through Bako conservativsim 😉

  3. Praying here in Wisconsin. I feel for you with the hyperemesis. When I had it (now 20 years ago) I was working as the charge nurse at a nursing home and had lots of grandmas rubbing my back and bringing me water. It was a very difficult time, but also a time of basking in God’s love. Get better! (It’s probably a girl)

    • Thanks, Dee! I had never heard of it before but have met some wonderfully encouraging ladies who have been through it! It seems like such a small thing that shouldn’t affect life, but it really really does! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story too! 🙂 I will remember it!! And yes, I will be VERY surprised if its not a girl! 🙂

  4. Pingback: Happy, Happy, Happy! | Life to the Max

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